What are the three most common mistakes that prevent women from taking charge of their lives, and how can they be overcome? I’m here to provide a summary so that you know where to focus your efforts if you want to take control of your life.
Mistake 1
You might have expectations of yourself that you are not aware of, which can be frustrating. Have you ever felt like you need to be good at everything? Like having the perfect body, getting the best education, being the best partner or wife, being the best mother, being successful at work, maintaining a clean and tidy house, having amazing cooking skills, and doing all of these tasks at the same time with a smile on your face, while still having time to meet your friends and practice your hobbies. Even fairy princes are not able to do this.
Many of our expectations are based on our environment, upbringing, and other external factors beyond our control. However, we must be aware of these unrealistic expectations and choose which ones are truly important to us. Instead of pressuring ourselves to fit an unrealistic ideal, we should focus on what matters most.
For example, if you are comfortable with your body, there is no need to force diets and exercise on yourself. Embrace your unique form and be proud of it. Similarly, if you have a passion for something creative, pursue it wholeheartedly. You might even be able to make a successful career out of it, earning more than those with high academic diplomas who dislike their jobs.
Lastly, whether you focus on being a full-time mom (aka human development specialist) or building your career, the decision is yours alone. No one else has the right to make that choice for you.
Mistake 2
It is important to have clear goals in order to find the perfect solution. Without knowing what you want to achieve, you may end up running around in circles for years. Knowing what you want to do can be difficult when you are young and faced with too many choices. However, by being honest with yourself, you can save yourself a lot of time and effort.
When you start looking for a job, you will have many preferences beyond salary and location. Reflecting on what parts of your studies or previous work experiences you enjoyed can help you determine what you want to do. Additionally, pay attention to your personal interests and strengths. For example, if you are naturally creative, you may not enjoy monotonous office jobs. Ultimately, your preferences and strengths will help define your ideal career.
Mistake 3
You may lack confidence but may be unwilling to admit it. I myself struggled with this for a long time. We use various techniques to mask our insecurities and present ourselves as knowledgeable. In doing so, we become perfectionists, grapple with Imposter Syndrome, and hinder our own progress. We lack confidence, and it is not always our fault. Our mistake is not admitting it.
Believe me, the sooner you acknowledge your lack of confidence, the sooner you can work on building it back up. All you have to do is seek assistance. It doesn’t matter whether it’s from me, another counselor/coach/psychologist, or someone else entirely. Your task is to recognize the issue and ask for assistance.