The issue of family conflict and sibling rivalry is a common concern among parents. Parents often seek ways to moderate these family feuds to help their children get along with one another and prepare them for interacting with others outside the family. However, it is important to understand that children’s brains are not neurologically capable of processing information like adult brains. While adult brains have fully developed the cerebral cortex responsible for the “higher” functions of thinking and information processing, children’s brains are still building new connections, changing, growing, and moving towards cognitive maturity that they won’t reach for a number of years.
Consider the 8-year-old brain, still in the process of developing logical and concrete thinking, yet with a limited ability to extend logic to abstract concepts. This manifests in the highly imaginative and illogical thinking of early childhood. As a result, parents face the challenge of realizing that their children will process information differently than they do. It’s crucial for parents to understand that their children’s brains are not fully developed yet, and they may struggle to grasp what parents are telling them mentally. This underscores the need for parents to learn to speak their child’s language to effectively communicate with them. When parents can truly’ see the world through their child’s eyes,’ they are better equipped to understand their youngsters and effectively guide them.
Consider a case where a mother initially perceived her son as simply being stubborn and wanting his way. However, she later discovered that he was not a bratty screaming child but a very scared child. Her heart ached when she realized her son was so fearful that all he knew how to do was scream to get her attention. Once she understood her child’s fear, she was able to help him – and in the process, she became a better parent. The boy’s behavior quickly changed for the positive, illustrating the transformative power of effective communication.
Likewise, in an adolescent brain, the limbic system, which governs emotions and behavior, is closely linked to the still-maturing prefrontal cortex. This powerful connection shows up in the way an adult who observes a group of people looking in their direction and laughing might feel an emotional response in the limbic system, but the prefrontal cortex would quickly process the situation, and the adult would understand the laughter wasn’t directed at them. In an adolescent brain, this ability to process information isn’t fully developed, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Therefore, empathy and truly understanding where your child is coming from are not just important but essential. When you can see the world through their eyes, you can help them navigate their challenges and build a stronger, more positive relationship. This empathetic understanding is the key to bridging the gap between adult and child, fostering a deeper connection and mutual respect.
“Each of us is a vital thread in the tapestry of each other. We are woven together for a reason”